The only thing you have to know about the modling is that I will rip it off with my finger nails and cram it down your throat if we do not buy and then life in this house for the rest of our AWESOME lives!
Amir and Streeter are two guys who work for CollegeHumor.com and the two of them have had a prank war going on for a while now. The pranks have becoming more elaborate and last year Amir pranked Streeter with the old fake marriage proposal on the JumboTron at a Yankee Game. Well a year and half later Streeter strikes back with the fake 500K half court shot. Amir's reaction to "winning" is great but the reaction to not winning is priceless.
I can't wait to see what come next in this entertaining prank war.
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started...
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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt." So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me." And she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too."
And then the fight started...
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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sighed, "she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many & years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!" So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
And then the fight started...
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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
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A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." The husband replies, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."
A 20 year old Inside Edition video popped up on the web showing Bill, well let's just roll the tape and see:
At least he didn't say "I'm Bill O'Reilly?" Anyway, staying in line with his usual tongue-in-cheek style, Stephen Colbert has come to the rescue of his mentor - Papa Bear - with his own out take [note I love the Sex Tape / Ambien drop in the intro]:
And finally, showing that there are many people with too much technology and time on their hands we already have a Bill O'Reilly - Flips Out Dance Remix:
What would it be like to live and eat nothing but animal products instead of being a non-animal consumer [i.e. vegan]? Like an Atkins diet on steroids but never eating fruits and vegetables. A typical dinner could be a steak, 2 eggs and a fat slice of cheese. Yum. How about clothing - only leather, fur and silk? Doesn't sound that bad. Plus alligator skin boots and belt to match would be pretty good. Loosing cotton as a wardrobe option would have it's downside but all that soft Corinthian leather would more than make up for it.
Yesterday was the 4th new episode since the writers strike ended and even though Jonah Hill was the host and I expected Superbadish humor for the hour and 1o minutes around my favorite segment, Weekend Update, it turned out to be by far the best episode this season. I actually laughed for most of the entire episode and it was the best episode I have scene in sometime. Here is a really good skit where Mr. Hill plays a hyperactive 6 year old with his newly divorced dad:
Plus the ongoing MacGruber skit is "Friggin' Genius":
Part 1
Part 2
And let's not forget Weekend Update's Really!?! with Seth and Amy:
I'm now actually really looking forward to their next new episode on 4/22 with Christopher Walken and Panic at the Disco. Maybe we will see More Cowbell... Just a thought.
Sarah Silverman presented Jimmy Kimmel [her boyfriend] this clip on his 5th anniversary show, which aired on January 31st:
This, of course, is part of the long-running joke where Jimmy "bumps" Matt from the show each night because he ran out of time. The video has become an instant classic and with lyrics like "on the bed, on the floor, on a towel by the door, in the tub, in the car, up against the mini-bar" you can see why.
In response, Jimmy presented this video on his post Oscar show yesterday:
Now Jimmy's song is not as good lyrically but with the raw start power of Brad Pitt, Joan Jett, Cameron Diaz, Don Cheadle, Robin Williams, Huey Lewis, Rebecca Romijn, Macy Gray, Pete Wentz, Dominic Monaghan, Joel and Benji Madden, Josh Groban, Christina Applegate, Meat Loaf, Perry Farrell, Lance Bass, Christopher Mintz-Plasse and Harrison Ford this could not only be a bigger viral video than Sarah's, it also shows that many of actors in Hollywood actually do have a sense of humor.
Can't wait for part three to this very important trilogy.
