Bottom Of The Barrel

Grammys Top Ten

The top ten things that you missed at this year's Grammys:

10. Lionel Richie summed up the appeal of the swag suite stating "Free! Free, free, free!". Richie picked out a $260 pair of Gucci sunglasses while Rihanna tried on a pair of Chinese Laundry shoes but didn't take the free shoes because they didn't match her outfit.
9. By giving a "shout-out" to Oprah Winfry, Christopher "Ludacris" Bridges is now posed to get his new book "2 Fast 2 Furious [2 DVD]: From the set of one of the worst sequels, ever!" in her book club.
8. Tony Bennett stated "I wish these big corporations, instead of telling the audience what they should have, would listen". He also went on to say he wishes the audience would listen to him too.
7. Not only did they share the stage but fellow Grammy winners John Legend and John Mayer both agreed digital rights management does not belong in modern music, as long as you don't bit torrent their latest albums.
6. Their were two ties this year: spoken-word and latin pop album. Taking the NHL style of tie-breaking, Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee outspoke Jimmy Carter 2 to 1 while Arjona and Julieta Venegas are still doing the lambda mano-a-mano and we are awaiting a winner.
5. Randy Jackson defended American Idol pointing to Carrie Underwood's Grammy for best new artist. He immediately wished her luck breaking the best new artist curse and walked off cursing himself for not pushing harder for former contestant turned Golden Globe, Screen Actors Guild Award and an Academy Award nominated singer/actress Jennifer Hudson.
4. Guinness Book of World records has certified that the 55 people thanked in Mary J. Blige's award speech is the most ever for a televised award show.
3. Mark Lee of the award winning Christian rockers Third Day was visibly absent when the group was awarded the Grammy for best pop-contemporary gospel album. It was speculated that he was just running late but it seems he may have had a wardrobe malfunction and was in the men's room at the time of the award.
2. Justine Timberlake but his junk in a box.
1. When asked about his relationship with Jessica Simpson, John Mayer answered in Japanese. Because of the daylight savings time computer bug, this was improperly translated into "I [heart] Daisuke Matsuzaka" and he really said "She is very beautiful and you are the last to know".

Labels: Grammys, Music, Satire

posted by TheWino @ 9:16 AM