Monday Laughs
Sent to me by a former co-worker:A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart". Nice children you've got there. Are they twins?" The woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't. The oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Do you really think they look alike? Are you some kind of idiot?" "No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"
Which reminded me of one of my wife's favorites:
A girl walks up to the checkout of the grocery store and places 1 steak, 1 potato, 1 can of soup, 1 toothbrush, 1 frozen dinner and 1 quart of milk on the counter. As she is paying for her groceries the clerk ask "Are you single?" and with a disgusted look she sarcastically replies "Yeah, what gave it away?" and the clerk says "Because your fucking ugly."
posted by TheWino @ 9:38 AM
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